I have 2 daughters who technically have both left home for different cities and universities, but to be honest I feel as though they both still live with us. To make matters worse, we upped and left the UK for our new home in France so their place of escape has now changed, but both still have boxes and clothes with us. The eldest, now graduated, has a wonderful job meeting interesting people and travelling all over, and the youngest is still a student. So why do I feel a need to ‘mother ‘ them, and when does the worry about them eating properly or staying out late, go? And why don’t they want me to help them, or interfere as they call it, anymore?
The youngest student one has resisted all attempts for me to introduce cushions and rearrange her living space, but she does have 3 male housemates to consider. The eldest one, having spent years refusing to allow anything antique or vintage into her bedroom, has now decided she may actually like old stuff and isn’t interested in shopping for her furniture at that large Swedish store. So, at last my 20 years worth of pushing the value of ‘old’ over ‘new’ has paid off and I can help out with advice and maybe a cushion or two. But it has got me thinking about how relationships between Mothers and Daughters change over time, and how although I occasionally long for them to be small again so I can rub away hurts and dress them how I would like, actually I love them this age when we are friends and they let me help, occasionally.